Back to the Beginning
by Basmathgirl
Summary: Set just before Partners In Crime, Donna is wondering what she is doing, why she is doing it, and where she should go next! This considers her thoughts before she sets out.


**Summary:** Set before Partners In Crime, Donna has a think before she leaves home.

**Disclaimer:** Donna doesn't belong to me, but she's on my birthday list.

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**Back to the Beginning**

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Have you ever looked the end of a story and wondered exactly where the beginning was? How this tale came to be? Or even why someone or something allowed to happen? Because some things just cannot be easily explained. It was all a matter of logistics and probabilities in the end, all perfectly calculable but infinitely indefinable.

Donna looked out of her bedroom window without really seeing the view outside. Things felt incredibly strange, as if something else should be happening, that she was about to have the biggest adventure of her life, that all possibilities were hers for the taking. A bubble of expectation was building up inside her, expectations pertaining to the realisation of something intangible.

Why did she feel this? What had provoked it? It had invaded her soul, making her yearn to run out into the rain outside and head towards the City. Something was drawing her in that direction. It felt so powerful, so full of hope, longing and, dare she say, love. Yes, it was love in its purest form, without desire or lust, but with unconditional acceptance. It was intoxicating and frightening at the same time. How could she live up to such an emotion? She surely didn't deserve it, did she? No-one had ever felt that way towards her. They all scoffed at her romantic fantasies, at her dreams of exploring the stars, at her desperation to be wanted by someone; no scrap that, the desperation was to be needed by someone, anyone, as much as she needed them.

She was just being stupid. Her friends said that all that running around investigating alien activities was warping her brain, that she was getting ideas above her station. What made her so special that she could solve all these alien sightings all on her own, eh? She had stupidly thought she could help in her own small way. After all, she had been shown that people _can_ make a difference, or rather that _she_ could make a difference. She'd saved someone important from dying, though she was still a little mystified how she'd managed that one.

She actually tried to focus on the scene outside now. Is he out there still? Fighting the good fight with someone by his side. Someone who'd stop him if necessary? She hoped so, cos they might all be doomed if he didn't. That thought sobered her for a bit. She really ought to check up on him and make sure he is safe and sound. He had looked so lost the last time she had seen him. Hark at her! She'd made it sound as if she'd seen him lots of times when it had only been the one day. But it felt so much more than one day, as if she had crammed in months' worth of experience.

The daftest thing was that she'd hoped she would have bumped into him during her investigations into alien stuff. Not that she would ever admit to herself, or anyone else, before this day that she had actually been looking for him. No, that's not what Donna Noble does. Donna Noble is independent. It doesn't matter that independence is through necessity, 'cos who really cares enough to ask? She only had herself to depend on, nobody else usually gave a monkey's apart from Gramps, or her Dad when he had still been around.

She pushed the sad thoughts away from her. There was a new purpose in her life now; it wasn't all drinking with so-called friends, flirting with the accountants, watching TV, or eating Pringles. She'd seen stuff, amazing things, made new acquaintances, visited places and roughed it a bit. Even the knowing piss takes from locals hadn't diverted her from her cause, because she felt sure she was doing the right thing, it wasn't all about escaping from her old life. It was about fulfilling her hidden potential and deep-seated desires. If a husband happened along the way, she could cope with that. It would be very nice in fact. Nice! What a stupid word that was at times. She was annoyed with the way she needed a man so much in her life. It shouldn't define her so much, but it did.

But the man she wanted in her life right now wasn't even a man, he was an alien. A tall, scrawny but slightly attractive alien who obviously needed someone to look after him. Could she still apply for the job? He'd asked her along remember, so he must have wanted her with him, travelling about the universe doing daring dos. As she thought this the need to run out of the house was almost overwhelming, to the point that she sunk to her knees trying to quell it.

Okay, she decided, if it was meant to be than she'd be sent a sign where to look for him. She picked up today's newspaper sitting on her bedside cabinet and opened it at random. It opened near the back, just before the sports pages, at where the ridiculous ads were for things like giant snuggle boots, exercise trousers and cut your own hair gadgets. There she saw a large half page advert for Adipose diet pills, all you had to do was call a certain number and you get to watch the fat walk away. That was it! She'd investigate them; there'd been enough conspiracy theories about Adipose on the internet. If nothing else, she might manage to loose a few pounds too.

It felt as if the whole day had lit up when all it had done was stop raining, but Donna knew, absolutely, that this was the right thing to do. Her wardrobe door swung open to reveal her dark charcoal suit. Yep, it was a definite. She reached out, put her smartest suit on, and checked for her Health & Safety ID in the pocket. She was on her way, finally.

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End file.
